At night, from my bedroom window I can see a million lights; so many that night feels only slightly less bright than daytime does. I can also see the place that I used to live from here; I think that was at least two lifetimes ago, maybe three. In the time since I’ve left, I’ve had three mailing addresses in two different cities on two different continents. I’ve fallen in love, out of love and in love again. I’m not the same person that I was the last time that I called Las Vegas home; I’m more optimistic, healthier and I have a greater appreciation for what I can do here.
Somewhere in the middle of all the places that Mina and I discussed when coming to terms with having to leave Amsterdam, Las Vegas became apparent as the right place for what each of us needs to do now. There are shows here and plenty of teaching opportunities, so she can dance. There are models that I’ve got a solid history with that I can photograph and many new ones interested in working with me. Las Vegas doesn’t give away opportunity, but if you are willing to work for it; you can find it.
The pace of life in New Orleans sounded something like “slow down” and it was what I needed when I left Las Vegas the last time. I did, too; I slowed down as much as I could while still making forward progress. It was needed; a welcome break after working very hard for a very long time and no longer being certain of if it was even what I wanted to be doing. I took that time to regroup and decided to move on to someplace else when I had. Amsterdam was someplace I’d wanted to try for years and while the moment that I acted on it wasn’t the most opportune I needed to try at very least. I had three months and a backup plan to go to New York or Las Vegas if it didn’t work, so here we are.
She came home from an audition this morning and crawled back into bed with me; she’d left early and was done before I woke. I’d slept late for a change; something I’d been unable to do since returning. We only have one set of keys at the moment and she’d left without them, so she had to call me to open the door for her. I went back to bed and she followed, undressing before she slipped under the covers and into my arms. I nuzzled her lightly and she told me how the audition had gone; she hadn’t gotten the part, but she’d gotten a lot of good feedback and met some new people who told her about another audition later in the day.
It’d been good for her to dance again, to move. I can tell the difference in her when she’s been holding still for too long. Today, she felt like movement and it appealed to me. I slid my hands over her firm legs and then between them, making her come once, twice, three times before deciding that I was too turned on to let it go at that. We fool around all the time; making each other come much more often without intercourse than with, but that means that when we do have sex, it’s because we are both in the mood, both want it and by virtue of the waiting, the wanting, it’s very, very good.
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